"Did he have a high heel in his pocket?"

One never knows what to expect when you are heading to a Navy mandatory fun function. I usually keep my expectations low in case the fun factor is lacking.

Thursday night Benny and I went to the club on Camp Shields (oh-rah Seabees) for the Navy's commandwide Christmas party for Okinawa. Everyone was invited, but it was mostly a yearend appreciation to the active duty and their spouses. No children allowed. Dinner and dancing. An all you can eat buffet. And we were informed that people dress up for this shindig.

We came wearing what I call our "church clothes." I was wearing a dress and heels. Benny was wearing slacks and a button down shirt. No tie. The clothing was pretty diverse with ladies wearing everything from slacks and a sweater to a low-cut evening gown. Many of the men were in suits with ties, with the exception of the Navy pilots who coordinated their suspenders and Christmas bow ties. Unforunately I forgot to get a picture of those characters.

After dinner, the MC announced there would be a "Best Dressed Competition" and he needed female contestants. A woman sitting across from me suggested I join the fun. "You look cute." Are you crazy, I was thinking? There are women showing off their booties and their breasts, I can only emphasis my belly. I ducked into the bathroom. I return only after the contestants start to strut their stuff to the song "I'm Too Sexy."



At this point, I'm EXTREMELY grateful I didn't enter the contest. Imagine my red face when that song started playing.

Next up ... the men's "Best Dressed Competition." The MC didn't have any trouble getting a crowd of men to show off their clothes. I swear men have no shame. So each one is doing a dance as their "display," when one contestant goes to the head table on his turn and grinds against the Captain's wife. Hilarious to say the least. If only I would have been quick enough to get a picture of that. By the way, the captain and his wife are very fun people who enjoyed the joke as much as everyone else in the room. But that guy didn't win the competition. The guy dressed in his Navy uniform (the cracker Jack suit, as I call it) received the most votes.



After the fashion show, they grew names for a scavenger hunt and guess whose name was picked out of the box: Benny.



Benny made it through the first few rounds. He got a government driver's license, 1 yen coin and command coin without any problems. With only three contestants remaining he wasn't quick enough with the final task: Find a high heel. I swear the other two guys were wearing high heels with their lightning speed return rates. So instead of a $100 gift card to the Exchange, we came home with vanilla toffee suckers and lots of laughs from the evening.